so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
