Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
