Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
