if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
