quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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