Who did Billy Mays play for?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
