a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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