ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
