Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
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Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
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I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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