Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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