Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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