And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
