i don't like sucking hair
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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