Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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