He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
