does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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