Already got asked if we're dating
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
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It's never too late to be topless.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
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I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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