i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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