Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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