Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
she told me i tasted like america
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
