Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize