Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
