I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
