the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
My breasts were aching with rage.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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