im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
i've created a new STD.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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