One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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