Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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