i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
