Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize