OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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