I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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