is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
