Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
