I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
