People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
