I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize