just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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