so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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