im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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