I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
