i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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