Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
