its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
