I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Is it because I queefed?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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