I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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