Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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