Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
