dude i'm inner monologue high
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
i need some magic done to my vagina
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
