i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize