I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
