At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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