I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
