my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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