we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
