you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
