I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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