Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize