My underwear smells like fireworks.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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