Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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