I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize