You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
