let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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