i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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