: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
