I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize