I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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