we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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