you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
