I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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